"Because Jesus said so" is not a good enough reason. Lots been going on lately. Lots and lots. Ok...I exaggerate. My life is action packed right now, but not in a "hot sex everyday and non-stop hijinks by night" sort of way. There are hijinks, sure, but the hot sex has a stand-in that is not nearly as exciting, and is probably part of a food group. Right now it is probably raspberry juice. Who am I kidding, it's always raspberry juice- better than the deed anyday. I really seriously realized that my statements the other day about being scared by the physical aspects of the opposite sex were farcical this morning though. I had a good talk about sex last night that also cemented this, and I just sat there before I went to sleep and went, "Damn. Who am I kidding when I say 'I don't want sex.' I'm such a fucking horndog." But...I'm still not a completely immoral horndog either-translating roughly to the truth of waiting, and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting, as long as I have to for something, anything, to happen on the end of that silly boy in the Lake of Cold. And I don't just mean sex- I mean something meaningful.

I got an angry letter in response to my article directed at Jordan Blatz yesterday. Once again, he blinded me with not science, but vagueness, dull pointless re-iteration of the vagueness, and then accused me of some sort of slurring. Why no ociffer, I was not drunk when I wrote that article! So...he agrees with me, but thinks I'm out to get him because he's one of the big boys. And I am. Who uses Camrose to justify that they "live out of town" and feels the pain of the masses who get the financial shaft? Camrose?! It's like maybe an hour away, tops. Not to mention the lucrative drug trade one could take advantage of to get themselves through school...but I digress. Until I see something happen, I'm going to stick by what I originally got as an impression of Blatz as a running candidate. Are you taking this seriously? Or are you doing this to impress your frat buddies? Just because you know some socio-political jargon (profusely used like the "slur" of the elite I might add) doesn't mean that some people won't nail you to a pasture fence for being too vague in your goals. Do something. Change something. Don't be a Chretien.

That would be a good letter if I wasn't terrified of the response I'd get for bashing a SU prez. And actually, I liked Chretien, so I would retract that statement, even though he didn't do too much of anything either.

Deuce and I have made nice with each other lately, and he's been asking me to preview some article/letter/but mainly article (opinion) ideas and pieces he's had. And my god, the man is as abrasive as shark skin, but damn. I was impressed. Me and the Boss had a little misunderstsanding over one thing that I sent him, but I think that has been rectified by now, as I ducked out of playing middleman. I really hope Deuce keeps this up though- I love reading causticly funny things. I wish I was better at writing them though.

Today is going to be a good day I think, but for all the things that won't get done. I stupidly agreed to help Fenton out on a few things. Ok....be company for Fenton on a few things, and it's not that it's stupid and I won't enjoy it...I just didn't realize until this morning what a shatload of reading I have to actually start committing to. I have to have Twelfth Night done by Thursday night...One english class a week and you'd think I'd be able to handle this, but nay nay.

But fain, sir Fenton and sir Smithy, willest thou accompaniest me to thy purjuror of alcoholic beverages on the eve of friday? Indeed they will be, and god said, "it shall be good at the tavern of Halo, if not saintly." I might end up spending the night on sir Smithy's couch though, being as I have no money to get a cab home, and absolutely no desire to go home early from a bar. Indirectly, I'm hoping he'll read this and invite me to sleep on his couch, but I'll probably end up passing out there anyways, what with all the cheap alcohol I plan to ply my system with, me having no money and all.

In other news....TRAGICALLY HIP! I have ticket! I have no money to pay for ticket, but I have one! And somehow I will come up with the money, even if I have to sell my body in the parking lot before the show to pay Fenton's friend back. And by selling my body, I don't mean graciously ripping out a kidney for someone with a bottle opener.

"Don't have a cooler? Oh well, that thermos of beer should do."

Speaking of Thermos', I went to Walmart yesterday on a whim with the ladies, and ended up getting some massively cheap groceries (Ramen- 25 cents!) but when I got to the cashier, I made the joyous discovery that my pin number was still "overtried"...the pin number that will not let me access my money hundreds of kilometers away because I screwed it up three times at Safeway on Sunday. The pin number that will ensure that I will be indebted to Grace Kelly for the rest of my life- something she will abuse to her advantage:

"Oh Emerson...would you do thisandthisandthisandthisandthis for me? No? Don't have time because you're a student with no life who has no time to pleasure read, much less take more than fifteen minutes in the shower? You ungrateful so and so! See if I ever do anything nice for you again. GOD, it just doesn't matter what I do for you, does it? Don't you realize that I'm just as poor as you are?"

Yeah, what an oversight of me. I hadn't realized you were poor while attempting to look over the pile of impulse items you buy everyday on the mastercard you can't pay off. I also didn't realize that the poor were so well fed. Oh sure...I see students eating havarti sandwhiches every day.

Vagina! This is my transitional word of the paragraph. Got your attention though, right? I am really enjoying my women's comparative lit. class. I really enjoy feminist theory, and the literature that we are reading is pretty cool. I'm still torn on Beloved though, because certain aspects are completely amazing, but other qualities of it, nay, the incredible inconsistancy and confusion, are a little disparaging. The class itself is stupifyingly ignorant though. The people I mean. The ones that speak just completely do not seize novel concepts at all, novel themes. They attack technical aspects with ghusto, but it really struck me that none of them really think with their hearts with some of the inferences they make. There is one girl, and of course there is the Talker that are more in touch though. These other crazy girls though seem to be missing the point though. But it's frustrating because they get all harried and nitpicky fighty-like over stupid things, to the point where hands raised become redundant and you can't get a word in edgewise- namely the point they are missing (well, the point I think they're missing, lol). Our prof is absolutely mortified with disgust sometimes- you can see it in her eyes. So I need to start speaking up. I have an inkling that if I start sitting next to the Talker (who is my friend anyways) that I will be more inclined to speak out, rather than being in "the front line" and vulnerable on my own.

Fuck, all this valuable time wasted when I could have been catching up on readings. But I had to get it out. Messed priorities.



  ¶ 11:14 AM