Freeze Dried Death The two fish that I may have jinxed by not naming, have died. One died a day or so ago, and his little buddy kicked it this morning. Funny thing: These ones didn't float belly up, they both floated (hovered?) with heads down, tails up at the bottom of the tank. It was like they were paying homage in their final moments to the mighty plant that is possibly suffocating them. Or homage to Copernicus for being the Bad Color. Or the Mighty Red Samurai. This brings the death toll up to six innocent lives now. Dare I invite more carnage by investing another two dollars in more fish? Obviously I need something more stalwarthy.

Here is a sample of what I have been doing all day (my personal insertions have thusfar gone unnoticed):

"Before or after checking your fluid levels, it is necessary to grease the machine. There are 27-32 grease nipples on each 72” mower. Make a count of the ones on your machine on the first time through, and make sure you hit all of them everyday, except for the ones specified by mechanics as “weeklies.” As you grease your machine, take note of any problems or unfamiliar damage for your vehicle inspection. If it is drastic damage (i.e. missing pieces, or stray body parts on undercarriage), inform your foreman. Do not forget to fill out a vehicle inspection form!"

I should clarify that grease nipples are not as sick as they sound here, out of context and all. It's hilarious how stuff at work sounds out of context. If you walk into the middle of a mechanical conversation, it's like reading a porno sometimes. Shafts, female ends, male ends, conjoining shafts, and all the like. Hilarious. This is very Mr. Smith humor, I know, but less chem inclined. So, I've been pretty busy today, because word of my nonlinear personality has gotten out ("she can type? She can fold? She can sew? She can do intelligent things? Ahhh....but can she wipe her own ass...ha...")and I've been doing everything that the mothers of these men could do if they worked here. It's sort of sad. No one in this building can type over thirty wpm. The humanity!!





I AM SO BORED. I HATE WORK. When will it be over? One hour and fifteen minutes.   ¶ 2:05 PM