Emergency!
Sunday, November 21, 2004
  NO NO NO!! YOU ARE WRONG! (Whew, thank god)
I felt like posting a valuable lesson learned. Or, rather, beaten into me by someone volatile yet wise. My kung-fu sensei on Ritalin.

"I read your blog. I have to tell you that you are retarded (and I mean that in the most loving way possible). Here is why:

1. Do not cling to something you do not want simply because you are afraid that you might not find something better. If you do that,you'll never be happy.

2. Stop being so fucking pessemistic. If a cynical asshole like me still believes in love, true or otherwise, you should too. Seriously, you won't find it? Fuck that. Don't be retarded. You're fucking awesome and have more going for you than you tend to acknowledge.You'll find what you want eventually. Sure, it might not be right away, but whatever, it'll happen.

3. "At least I had something to hide behind when it was long." What? What the fuck are you trying to hide? This is kind of lame and shallow, I suppose, but I actually think you look a lot better with shorter hair. Seriously, a lot better. Whatever you thought you had to hide, it's a good thing that it is now visible.

4. As much as I totally think that, from everything you've ever said, Mr. Pink is not the right guy for you -- close, maybe, but no cigar (ha ha ha ha), as they say --, I'll throw out one thing in his defence.You said: "How can you want someone you can summarize in one sentence?" It's called a summary for a reason. In no way does a summary ever come close to truly capturing the essence of the thing it is summarizing. NEVER. Additionally, you said: "I want someone I could write volumes on." Does the ability to summarize in a sentence negate the ability to write volumes? I mean, I could summarize THE CANTERBURY TALES in a single sentence: "A group of pilgrims travel from London to Canterbury, telling each other stories along the way." Sums it up completely, but doesn't catch the essence of the thing at all. Additionally, despite the fact that it can be summed up in a single sentence, volumes upon volumes have been written upon it. I'm not at all trying to say that you should continue to cling if this is not what you want. I'm just trying to play Devil's advocate, and give you another way of thinking about it.

5. "'[N]o wonder no one who isn't desperate wants you. You're a smoker, and thus = disgusting.'" See point number 2.

6. I'm pretty sure I said all that I meant to say. And remember this, as much as I'm anti-Yank at times, I agree with this American foundation: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness." Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. Those are your rights. Always, and forever. Don't let anyone deny you of those -- not even yourself."

So with that beating from the Kung-Fu master, I declare that he is all wise and all knowing- and this week- a little more than fucked- but he'll be ok. And so will I.
 
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