"I think we're alone now, there doesn't seem to be anyone around...."

I didn't realize until the middle of this song, this song amongst many others that I absolutely did not feel like dancing to, how much the Roost is a zenith for misfits. It used to be that I reveled in this, but the more I look around, the more I realize that no matter how low on the ladder you are, even if you're at the bottom of the scrap heap and surrounded by scrap heap brethern, you're still being judged by one of them. Or several of them. No one can just sit back and relish that they are comfortable because they are among their own kind, the ones they assume are just as unshallow as themselves. I really don't like the Roost anymore, and shall endeavor at any cost to avoid it and instead frequent Halo perhaps- which is obviously sort of worse, because Halo does seem to attract more of the elite flavors of our young society. Or, I will drop bar scenes altogether- this being the wiser imperative in the long run as I quickly run out of money that is supposed to be fun money until at least the beginning of May.

I felt like everyone was staring at me tonight. I've never felt so ill at ease in my life, but decided I was just feeling susceptible or something. However, Keri flirted with me. Alot. And that's never so bad, even though she was shining and glassy-eyed with tea and a little intoxicated.

I'm going to go crawl into bed with Greg Bear though, and see how that goes. Currently, it's a Biology 20 overview with some gunshots and schitzophrenics thrown in for good measure. And bad writing. Really really bad writing.
  ¶ 2:23 AM