Monday, February 07, 2005
Every thug needs a Lady.
So last week, I said the most horrible thing that I've said all year to anyone. And I said it to my best friend. It isn't even worth repeating in all its offal-ness, but I also realized that this will always be a huge difference between us. Not a sore point necessarily, if we cease to bicker about it, but a huge difference in opinion. So I thought I'd write a little blot on why I advocate a disregard of appearance so much when meeting people, for any means. Feel free to shoot holes in me, because by no means is this logical- it's all based on me. You knew it.
It has been argued that the physical appearance of someone undoubtedly factors into whether or not they are a good person to be with. Looks have a definite part in the initial attraction, and I discover more about personality later, blah blah blah. Well, I guess I'm fucked eh? But the thing is I've always known this. In terms of physical attractiveness, the odds are massively stacked against me. Missing parts, affected parts, you name it, not to mention all the stupid stuff that continues to plague me on top of that. Weight, skin (bad), hair, etc. But before I sound all "poor fugly girl", I really need to say, that I have come to terms with how I look. I like me, and I'm more then pleased with myself. It could have been a lot worse.
Man, I had this so well thought out, and now I've either just summed it all up and figured out that I had really nothing to say, or I've lost it all out the back of my head.
I suppose the point that I'm trying to make, is that by going off physical appearance initially is sort of self-destructive. I've always grown up with this saying my mom always told me, preventitively, or post-punishment: "Treat others how you'd like to be treated." Going with this, I think it goes to say that you should regard people as you yourself would like to be regarded.
Now, this is not to say that I'm "pure, unshallow, and unsuperficial", because I'm not. It is an inescapeable thing, it's the way we've been conditioned- like an extension off ye olde hunting and gathering and procreating. If you're hot, I'll check you out. But, by no means would approach someone on these terms. I feel like I'd be degenerating into turning whatever institution I was in, into a meat market elsewise. This is also my other point- people are people, not meat- thoughts, desires, imaginations, opinions, flaws (mental and physical). Personally, if anyone came up to me on the premise that I seemed attractive, and asked me to do something with them...I'm not so sure I'd be down with that, because I myself would never do that to anyone. I'm constantly wondering what people deprive themselves of because they practise the whole meat market thing though. But it's sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy of another kind that I observe constantly. Filling voids with strangers that are not there in the morning, and not establishing the kinds of bonds that really are important in life.
More seriously, I did in fact call my best friend a eugenicist last week. Ugh, horrible- I already know this was horrible, and really don't know why this could have even flown through my head, past the fact that I am really really sensitive about stuff like this, as you can see. And I felt terrible about it, and I don't think he's ever been as mad at me as he was in that precise moment. Very low blow. The very thought of eugenics has always put this knot in my stomach whenever I think about it. I wrote on this a long time ago, but the whole movement was not a hell of a long time ago, which scared me a lot when I learned about it. If my mom had been pregnant with me in a time like that, it would have been pretty open and shut on the verdict. And it would have been a no-go, absolutely. So, nowadays, sure, I'm failing Darwin's Law for reasons that were beyond my control, but hey, at least I'm here in the race. Sometimes I really hate the age we live in, but when I think about that, I can take an age of propoganda, unjust wars, and "terrorism" in a stride. Nothing is as frightening in my little sphere until I think about eugenics. Sure, the world is always going to be disturbing, but I deal with it, because I can. Anyways, I'm not trying to play this as a guilt card- that was not the point.
Bottom line- perhaps I'm a romantic shithead who can't explain herself on this point well at all, but everyone is beautiful in their own way, and it isn't on the surface all the time. Sometimes it's completely blinding on the surface, but sometimes it is equally blinding beneath the surface- and both are terrifying on their own, and even more terrifying if they are combined, lol. I can't stress enough that this is my own opinion though- I don't think any one person is really shallow. I think we're just all over the map, and that like marginal literature, we all have our own centers and peripheries regarding the matter. Except beautiful daft people are my margin, lol. ¶ 5:48 PM
It has been argued that the physical appearance of someone undoubtedly factors into whether or not they are a good person to be with. Looks have a definite part in the initial attraction, and I discover more about personality later, blah blah blah. Well, I guess I'm fucked eh? But the thing is I've always known this. In terms of physical attractiveness, the odds are massively stacked against me. Missing parts, affected parts, you name it, not to mention all the stupid stuff that continues to plague me on top of that. Weight, skin (bad), hair, etc. But before I sound all "poor fugly girl", I really need to say, that I have come to terms with how I look. I like me, and I'm more then pleased with myself. It could have been a lot worse.
Man, I had this so well thought out, and now I've either just summed it all up and figured out that I had really nothing to say, or I've lost it all out the back of my head.
I suppose the point that I'm trying to make, is that by going off physical appearance initially is sort of self-destructive. I've always grown up with this saying my mom always told me, preventitively, or post-punishment: "Treat others how you'd like to be treated." Going with this, I think it goes to say that you should regard people as you yourself would like to be regarded.
Now, this is not to say that I'm "pure, unshallow, and unsuperficial", because I'm not. It is an inescapeable thing, it's the way we've been conditioned- like an extension off ye olde hunting and gathering and procreating. If you're hot, I'll check you out. But, by no means would approach someone on these terms. I feel like I'd be degenerating into turning whatever institution I was in, into a meat market elsewise. This is also my other point- people are people, not meat- thoughts, desires, imaginations, opinions, flaws (mental and physical). Personally, if anyone came up to me on the premise that I seemed attractive, and asked me to do something with them...I'm not so sure I'd be down with that, because I myself would never do that to anyone. I'm constantly wondering what people deprive themselves of because they practise the whole meat market thing though. But it's sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy of another kind that I observe constantly. Filling voids with strangers that are not there in the morning, and not establishing the kinds of bonds that really are important in life.
More seriously, I did in fact call my best friend a eugenicist last week. Ugh, horrible- I already know this was horrible, and really don't know why this could have even flown through my head, past the fact that I am really really sensitive about stuff like this, as you can see. And I felt terrible about it, and I don't think he's ever been as mad at me as he was in that precise moment. Very low blow. The very thought of eugenics has always put this knot in my stomach whenever I think about it. I wrote on this a long time ago, but the whole movement was not a hell of a long time ago, which scared me a lot when I learned about it. If my mom had been pregnant with me in a time like that, it would have been pretty open and shut on the verdict. And it would have been a no-go, absolutely. So, nowadays, sure, I'm failing Darwin's Law for reasons that were beyond my control, but hey, at least I'm here in the race. Sometimes I really hate the age we live in, but when I think about that, I can take an age of propoganda, unjust wars, and "terrorism" in a stride. Nothing is as frightening in my little sphere until I think about eugenics. Sure, the world is always going to be disturbing, but I deal with it, because I can. Anyways, I'm not trying to play this as a guilt card- that was not the point.
Bottom line- perhaps I'm a romantic shithead who can't explain herself on this point well at all, but everyone is beautiful in their own way, and it isn't on the surface all the time. Sometimes it's completely blinding on the surface, but sometimes it is equally blinding beneath the surface- and both are terrifying on their own, and even more terrifying if they are combined, lol. I can't stress enough that this is my own opinion though- I don't think any one person is really shallow. I think we're just all over the map, and that like marginal literature, we all have our own centers and peripheries regarding the matter. Except beautiful daft people are my margin, lol. ¶ 5:48 PM
