Harajuku hari-kari I checked my blogpatrol for some reason, stalling before I wrote this post, and what do you know, someone googled Golden Har Syndrome. I encourage this person, if they ever come back, to email me, because I'd be interested in what's what. Usually these people are concerned mothers, or grandmothers looking for "cures" but hell, maybe it's a fellow deforma-tron (insensitivity comes with age and experience, sorry).

The last two days haven't exactly been that great. In a bout of apparently faulty telepathic powers on my part, I made Godzilla cry last night. You don't like tortellini, you constantly tell me this brand that I buy sucks- but I was to assume that you would have choked down my horrible food last night for the sake of being included with my parents and I at supper. Key words were used: "left out", "selfish", "unthoughtful" (ummm.....thoughtless right? That's what you meant? How thoughtless of me), "hurtful". So, I was reminded again last night of my awesome amazing evil powers.

Even funnier was the fact that beforehand my mother had a chat with me about how to cope with Godzilla for the next little while through the Second Go[TM] of things, saying that I should be as unconfrontational as possible, and just "lay low, and humor her." For some reason, I got this thought of "I'll be the Karla to your Paul Bernardo" in my mind at that point in the conversation. So, basically the summary of the instruction/"passive wisdom" was, bend over and take it for the next three months, mmmkay?

Enter the conversation with Dear Old Dad this morning: "So- you're aunt is off her rocker, ok? She's always been like this, and it's just going to get worse in the next little while. She's manipulative, selfish, and a bitch. (*gasp* did you just say the b-word?) Make sure that you don't take shit from her ok? You're not the bad person here, and I don't want to see you become her next slave- because she will enslave you if you give her the chance. Hell, you're probably partially there already. It sounds hard, but just practice saying no."

I inferred at that point that this is easier said then done and he said, "I don't care, and you shouldn't either. Say no, and walk away (holy crap)- let her rage, and yell and tantrum, but just ignore it. Once she figures out that she can't manipulate you anymore, it will cease to happen."

This was something like a one year battle of will for my dad. He's been there, done that, and now (enviously) Godzilla is completely under his thumb.

Thinking about all this (ie- the conflicting uhh...directions from the parental units) I'm going to go with a little bit of both tactics, but am leaning towards my dad's suggestions. At this point, I really probably do love her somewhere in the little icicle of my heart, but I don't want anything to do with her if necessary. Doing a future forecast, this unfortunately is going to mean that I will not be sailing this summer. I just can't. I don't know if I'm saying this because I want to hang it over her head as impetus for her to drastically change her ways (she can't sail by herself anymore), or because I am afraid for my soul and it being enslaved, and I feel like this is the only way I can surefire recover from all this stuff lately. I suppose I'll see what happens, but I'm really torn about the sailing thing. I love it- but I am tired of all the manipulation I endure because of it. If only I knew someone else with a boat, or had my own boat. God, if I had my own boat, I so wouldn't even be here right now though, ha. I'd have it in heated storage with a ladder propped up to the side and a propane stove. Home sweet home.

In other news, I foolishly downloaded the new Gwen Stefani solo stuff a while ago and ripped it to a cd with other stuff (greenday, modest mouse, hooverphonics, and whatever else) and let me tell yooo... It's absolute garbage! I grew up with Gwen in No Doubt, and loved the music, poppy punk ska - whatever you people called it, so now I'm faced with one of the biggest dissappointments I've ever seen in a band short of the big Rage Against the Machine disaster of 2000-2001 (1999?). The whole premise of the new album seems to be the kissing ass of a new fan grouping in Japan/ Japanese sub-culture (Harajuku). It's sex, drugs and bling, and all the shit music that goes along with it. I was really appalled, and now, since I'm still listening to the other stuff on the cd, it causes me great embarrassment whenever I hear a song come on from the album- to the point where I pull out the earphone and hold it away from me like a dead squirrel while slunking down in my seat (bus) and changing the song. It's fucking terrible. And WestJet is stuck on "Harajuku Girls" and sings it loud and proud whenever we hang out- oh my little walking stereotype, I want to punch you in the mouth sometimes.

An idea: We lovelorn shlubs have been pretty pathetic lately. Pathetic and embarrassing- what say we all co-author a bitch-blog and rally together "conflicted or single people" support for our fellow sad shits? I thought of this, because I know that we who go all livejournal on our main personal blogs, get embarrassed about it later. But, if we had an environment where it would be ok to be totally pathetic, and even offer each other ideas, tips, counselling- whatever- towards being single and happy instead...wouldn't that be rad? Because I'm starting to realize that if you can't be alone and be happy, you shouldn't be with someone- as in, you can't rely on other people to make you happy. It helps, but you shouldn't be doin' it. Anyways, anyone who's read this far, and who's interested, just give me a shrill scream and let me know. Originally, I was just going to start it and have everyone else do like commenting, but I'd rather have some co-authorships going on of multitudes of people.

Sidenote: you don't have to be pathetic to get in on this. Happy lonely people welcome.

Disclaimer- yeah, I'm in a relationship- it's about to end. I count.   ¶ 2:20 PM