Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Wake me up when September ends
100 things you couldn't possibly have known about me (56-where ever I leave off before my seminar starts).
56. I am really in tune with nature. I've been taught survival skills times infinity from a very young age, and can track anything that isn't too big with lots of teeth and claws. Well, I can, but I won't- it's called self-preservation. I can walk noiselessly through the woods. And sometimes I feel like all these skills are really useless, especially in the context that I find myself in right now. But really, I could stay in the woods for days and never be bored or uncomfortable. And sometimes, I prefer it. It gives me an introspective balance that I find hard to come by in other settings. And yeah, "returning to the basics", I'm all about that.
57. I'm at my happiest when I'm sitting in a sunbeam doing art. It makes me feel like a kid again to just have all my art stuff sprawled around me in a comfortable mess, and I love the feeling of the sun hitting clothing and soaking in.
58. I can't swim very well. It's really quite embarrassing given the amount of water orientated things that I love. Despite the fact that I love water, (Seeing it, being near it, in it, whatever) it also makes me uncomfortable a little bit. My grandfather calls this a harkening back to my roots, because there are a lot of fishermen in my family who can't swim worth shit- because they rely on it for subsistence and transportation, but otherwise, harbor such a great respect (bordering on fear) for it, that they try and stay out of the drink as much as possible. The water I mean, not the whiskey. Most people have some traumatic event to harken back to in regards to their relationship or lackthereof with water, but I don't. I've always been obsessed with being in it, but somehow the swimming thing didn't come along with that. I think the biggest part is not having a charted destination- I will not swim into any unknowns.
59. I love learning new things. Even if I don't grasp it right away, I will force people to explain things I don't know about to me- often to their suprise. I ask a lot of questions, and in my later years, I write stuff down, because the old brain, she just ain't what she used to be.
60. There is nothing sexier then sleeping naked between cotton sheets.
61. I hate crying. I cry more often then I'd like, but I'm not comfortable crying around anyone, which is hilarious, because when I cry, all I want is someone there to hold me and make me feel better. My mom always finds out when I've been crying too, some sort of weird intuition, and phones me without fail now when she gets a "feeling" that my day might have been shitty. I thought it was just coincidence the first time it happened too, but no... Mom's are funny things.
62. I can't stand coconuts, anything to do with them, or synthetic banana flavor.
63. I love making sandwiches. Maybe I won't eat them, and I'll give them to someone else, but I love making them. And I do love cooking, when I'm not being watched by my aunt.
64. I really really suck at saying no to people. Like REALLY suck. This is a new thing, and I don't know how it happened. I ran into the pseudo australian on the bus the other day, and he invited me for coffee with the rest of the motley drug crew he hangs out with on Whyte, and goddamnit if I couldn't say no, and was forced to slug down my red-eye surrounded by people named Roach, Skitter, and Tweaky.
65. I am really self-conscious about my writing. Like, really self conscious about it. Not poems, because I never really have high expectations of myself in that area, but of the book that I'm writing that no one of my immediate friends has seen anything of? Oh my god. I'm so scared that I've put all this effort into it (years) and it's just going to amount to crap, even though I know when I enjoy writing something so much that usually it's good.
66. I have a penchant for imitations and accents. I really enjoy aping people and copying their modes of speech and mannerisms. So I do observe people quite closely, and that is the reason why. But the thing with the imitations and accents is that they just come out of nowhere sometimes, and are off-putting to others. And I can't perform on the spot, atall.
67. I have two more pipe dreams: one is to be a stand-up comedian. The other, is to be a screenplay writer and director. Maybe even an actress in low-budget films.
68. I have a fixation on "driving around" film footage. If I had a video camera, I would probably shoot reams of film just driving around places, with the odd dialog of my friends and I filling up the car at times, or just music as a backtrack for certain places.
69. I enjoy dressing up (ie- skirts and other girly things) occasionally, but I really do not enjoy the typical female upkeep tasks (i.e: shaving, plucking, etc.). It took me a long time to reconcile with the fact that I wasn't necessarily a slob for not liking these things, or doing them regularly.
70. I did have much of a childhood, but the childhood that I had, I enjoyed immensly.
71. I once got indefinately kicked out of a place I was staying. It was the most maddening thing ever, because it was for such a fickle reason, but sitting in my car with all my belongings in garbage bags around me, was the most awful thing ever. I had no place to go, and I felt really unwanted.
72. When I was little, I was a bit of a thief. My dad would bring me to his school board meetings in dark empty schools, and I would wander around through all the classrooms. But here's the thing: I only ever stole edible things. And, in a seperate event, 67 cents from my parent's friend's piggy bank. And even more seperately, I was never caught (except for the Pilsner incident with my dad at 17). I've also never shoplifted.
73. I've had crushes on almost all the friends I've ever had. But wouldn't you know it, these people have also become my greatest friends despite that. Dysfunctional, but awesome anyways.
74. Honesty and bluntness will always be best policy to me, but I have to admit, this is hard to do with certain people. Either the first thing that comes to my mind to say is hideously inappropriate (YUR HOT. Can I have your babies? My ass is itchy. I don't care. You get the point- speaking your mind quite blankly is sometimes overrated and troublesome), or I have to pull out ye olde strategies for diplomacy.
75. I am very diplomatic when I want to be, and an excellent mediator in any situation.
76. I can be disgustingly nice to anyone, even if I don't like them, and even if they don't like me and I know it.
77. I really dislike insincere people, and am constantly in loathe of all the times that I am, or come across as being so. That said, I can sure fake sincerity if I need to. But that goes with 76.
78. I have one white hair at the base of my neck.
79. *mumble mumble* vibrator *mumble* bought at christmas*mumble mumble*. Enjoyable, and liberating, but nothing compares to the real thing, even if I don't reach the big O very often. (I'm in Rutherford, it's embarrassing...The font on here is big enough for the whole library to see)
80. I'm not very modest. I also will do anything I'm dared to do- a specific case comes to mind where I was dared to ask a total stranger at a bus stop show my buddy his boxers. People drop trou for me!
81. I enjoy skateboarding, more as a mode of transportation. It bothers me that I have this whole "poser" thing going on sometimes, because I can't do any tricks, but it doesn't usually bother me, because what I can do on a skateboard, I can do damn well. And I love it, and really, that's the bottom line. I'd like to get a better deck though, mine is pretty uh, decomposing. A skater would say thrashed, but...we won't go there.
82. I'll try anything once...Except, sympathizing with a friend of mine- I'm not up for any back door action.
83. The girls are not the same size. They're pretty, but they're fraternal twins.
84. I am perfectly happy on my own. I also know that I have to find someone who is exactly like that, and while I'm not necessarily looking per se, when I look around me, I am finding that it is not necessarily a common characteristic. I love all the people I know dearly, but I don't feel that I'm dependent on them for much- except for my parents, regarding the bling and whatnot. I've figured out that this is why I'm so bad at keeping in touch with the friends that live away. The ones that are the same as me understand perfectly, but others...not so much, and they think I don't love them anymore. But I do.
85. I don't think that you ever stop loving anyone that you've loved at one point. You change your view of people and your relationships, but I don't think you can up and say, "oops, the love is gone. Huh."
86. The best part of my day is laughing. Just give me an opportunity, because if you don't, I'll make myself laugh at my own dumb jokes.
87. When I make friends with girls, I find that I connect instantly with the ones who are extremely well grounded, but have a fanciful or cynical look at life. Plus the girls I make friends with have a quiet and enormous inner intellect for the most part- I'm extremely picky with who I have for girlfriends, because really, I have such a hard time relating to them in general. But, with all that said, sometimes I get thrown for loops with the girls I befriend, because they're not like this at all.
88. I don't make friends easily though, period. I meet people easily, but friends are a whole nother matter. But the ones I get, are stuck with me.
89. I don't like pretty boys- I like guys who are just "hmm, this is clean", and "I forgot to shave. Oh well." That said, I don't like slobs either. It's that in-between "I've got much more important things on my mind then what kind of belt I'm wearing" kind of guy.
90. I enjoy the experience of being intimate more then the actual sexual act itself.
92. I get embarrassed surprisingly easy sometimes, and when I do, I turn into a flustery mess. It depends on the mood I'm in I suppose.
93. I get flushed like a wino after one glass of wine.
94. I constantly worry about my loved ones dying. I get really anxious for example when my grandparents go on roadtrips to California in January, or when my parents leave the country. I never used to be like this, but I worry about everything now.
95. My grandfather is my absolute favorite person in the whole world. We can sit next to each other for a whole day just reading and drinking beer, not saying a single word, and it will have been a great bonding experience. He's taught me so much about people and temperance, as well as a whole bevy of interesting knowlege and skills. Everything about my grandfather is amazing- his life, his experiences, everything- the people he's helped. No one hates him, no one would cross him, and no one would disrespect him. And he's got the biggest hands I've ever seen. I still hold my grandfather's hand when we walk, and I still just hold one finger, because I couldn't hold his whole hand when I was little and never changed. He could hold me in one hand until I was about nine months old. I have a lot of his sense of humor- this is where the corny bits come from.
96. My most favorite thing to shop for is underwear.
97. The thing that I least enjoy shopping for, which I have to do soon unfortunately, is bra shop. Goddamnit.
98. I know that if I were to get pregnant (though at this rate- it would be immaculate) at this point in time, that I would have a great support system. I also know that in my mind, I am probably ready to have a child now, but I'm also in no great hurry either. I will always advocate pro choice to anyone, but I have also realized that I myself would not be able to have an abortion. I couldn't handle it. This is just something I've realized over the years. But like I said, I'm not looking to have a baby at all until I'm ready financially and whatnot, if I have my say.
99. I would be more then comfortable being a single parent. If the time comes when I want to have kids, I don't think I'll be deterred from it if I don't have a partner. I may hit up my friends for sperm though- an indication that they are the best kind of people- that, and most of 'em aren't going to use it anyways. LOL.
100. I am very blessed, and I hope I don't forget that too often.
¶ 2:10 PM
56. I am really in tune with nature. I've been taught survival skills times infinity from a very young age, and can track anything that isn't too big with lots of teeth and claws. Well, I can, but I won't- it's called self-preservation. I can walk noiselessly through the woods. And sometimes I feel like all these skills are really useless, especially in the context that I find myself in right now. But really, I could stay in the woods for days and never be bored or uncomfortable. And sometimes, I prefer it. It gives me an introspective balance that I find hard to come by in other settings. And yeah, "returning to the basics", I'm all about that.
57. I'm at my happiest when I'm sitting in a sunbeam doing art. It makes me feel like a kid again to just have all my art stuff sprawled around me in a comfortable mess, and I love the feeling of the sun hitting clothing and soaking in.
58. I can't swim very well. It's really quite embarrassing given the amount of water orientated things that I love. Despite the fact that I love water, (Seeing it, being near it, in it, whatever) it also makes me uncomfortable a little bit. My grandfather calls this a harkening back to my roots, because there are a lot of fishermen in my family who can't swim worth shit- because they rely on it for subsistence and transportation, but otherwise, harbor such a great respect (bordering on fear) for it, that they try and stay out of the drink as much as possible. The water I mean, not the whiskey. Most people have some traumatic event to harken back to in regards to their relationship or lackthereof with water, but I don't. I've always been obsessed with being in it, but somehow the swimming thing didn't come along with that. I think the biggest part is not having a charted destination- I will not swim into any unknowns.
59. I love learning new things. Even if I don't grasp it right away, I will force people to explain things I don't know about to me- often to their suprise. I ask a lot of questions, and in my later years, I write stuff down, because the old brain, she just ain't what she used to be.
60. There is nothing sexier then sleeping naked between cotton sheets.
61. I hate crying. I cry more often then I'd like, but I'm not comfortable crying around anyone, which is hilarious, because when I cry, all I want is someone there to hold me and make me feel better. My mom always finds out when I've been crying too, some sort of weird intuition, and phones me without fail now when she gets a "feeling" that my day might have been shitty. I thought it was just coincidence the first time it happened too, but no... Mom's are funny things.
62. I can't stand coconuts, anything to do with them, or synthetic banana flavor.
63. I love making sandwiches. Maybe I won't eat them, and I'll give them to someone else, but I love making them. And I do love cooking, when I'm not being watched by my aunt.
64. I really really suck at saying no to people. Like REALLY suck. This is a new thing, and I don't know how it happened. I ran into the pseudo australian on the bus the other day, and he invited me for coffee with the rest of the motley drug crew he hangs out with on Whyte, and goddamnit if I couldn't say no, and was forced to slug down my red-eye surrounded by people named Roach, Skitter, and Tweaky.
65. I am really self-conscious about my writing. Like, really self conscious about it. Not poems, because I never really have high expectations of myself in that area, but of the book that I'm writing that no one of my immediate friends has seen anything of? Oh my god. I'm so scared that I've put all this effort into it (years) and it's just going to amount to crap, even though I know when I enjoy writing something so much that usually it's good.
66. I have a penchant for imitations and accents. I really enjoy aping people and copying their modes of speech and mannerisms. So I do observe people quite closely, and that is the reason why. But the thing with the imitations and accents is that they just come out of nowhere sometimes, and are off-putting to others. And I can't perform on the spot, atall.
67. I have two more pipe dreams: one is to be a stand-up comedian. The other, is to be a screenplay writer and director. Maybe even an actress in low-budget films.
68. I have a fixation on "driving around" film footage. If I had a video camera, I would probably shoot reams of film just driving around places, with the odd dialog of my friends and I filling up the car at times, or just music as a backtrack for certain places.
69. I enjoy dressing up (ie- skirts and other girly things) occasionally, but I really do not enjoy the typical female upkeep tasks (i.e: shaving, plucking, etc.). It took me a long time to reconcile with the fact that I wasn't necessarily a slob for not liking these things, or doing them regularly.
70. I did have much of a childhood, but the childhood that I had, I enjoyed immensly.
71. I once got indefinately kicked out of a place I was staying. It was the most maddening thing ever, because it was for such a fickle reason, but sitting in my car with all my belongings in garbage bags around me, was the most awful thing ever. I had no place to go, and I felt really unwanted.
72. When I was little, I was a bit of a thief. My dad would bring me to his school board meetings in dark empty schools, and I would wander around through all the classrooms. But here's the thing: I only ever stole edible things. And, in a seperate event, 67 cents from my parent's friend's piggy bank. And even more seperately, I was never caught (except for the Pilsner incident with my dad at 17). I've also never shoplifted.
73. I've had crushes on almost all the friends I've ever had. But wouldn't you know it, these people have also become my greatest friends despite that. Dysfunctional, but awesome anyways.
74. Honesty and bluntness will always be best policy to me, but I have to admit, this is hard to do with certain people. Either the first thing that comes to my mind to say is hideously inappropriate (YUR HOT. Can I have your babies? My ass is itchy. I don't care. You get the point- speaking your mind quite blankly is sometimes overrated and troublesome), or I have to pull out ye olde strategies for diplomacy.
75. I am very diplomatic when I want to be, and an excellent mediator in any situation.
76. I can be disgustingly nice to anyone, even if I don't like them, and even if they don't like me and I know it.
77. I really dislike insincere people, and am constantly in loathe of all the times that I am, or come across as being so. That said, I can sure fake sincerity if I need to. But that goes with 76.
78. I have one white hair at the base of my neck.
79. *mumble mumble* vibrator *mumble* bought at christmas*mumble mumble*. Enjoyable, and liberating, but nothing compares to the real thing, even if I don't reach the big O very often. (I'm in Rutherford, it's embarrassing...The font on here is big enough for the whole library to see)
80. I'm not very modest. I also will do anything I'm dared to do- a specific case comes to mind where I was dared to ask a total stranger at a bus stop show my buddy his boxers. People drop trou for me!
81. I enjoy skateboarding, more as a mode of transportation. It bothers me that I have this whole "poser" thing going on sometimes, because I can't do any tricks, but it doesn't usually bother me, because what I can do on a skateboard, I can do damn well. And I love it, and really, that's the bottom line. I'd like to get a better deck though, mine is pretty uh, decomposing. A skater would say thrashed, but...we won't go there.
82. I'll try anything once...Except, sympathizing with a friend of mine- I'm not up for any back door action.
83. The girls are not the same size. They're pretty, but they're fraternal twins.
84. I am perfectly happy on my own. I also know that I have to find someone who is exactly like that, and while I'm not necessarily looking per se, when I look around me, I am finding that it is not necessarily a common characteristic. I love all the people I know dearly, but I don't feel that I'm dependent on them for much- except for my parents, regarding the bling and whatnot. I've figured out that this is why I'm so bad at keeping in touch with the friends that live away. The ones that are the same as me understand perfectly, but others...not so much, and they think I don't love them anymore. But I do.
85. I don't think that you ever stop loving anyone that you've loved at one point. You change your view of people and your relationships, but I don't think you can up and say, "oops, the love is gone. Huh."
86. The best part of my day is laughing. Just give me an opportunity, because if you don't, I'll make myself laugh at my own dumb jokes.
87. When I make friends with girls, I find that I connect instantly with the ones who are extremely well grounded, but have a fanciful or cynical look at life. Plus the girls I make friends with have a quiet and enormous inner intellect for the most part- I'm extremely picky with who I have for girlfriends, because really, I have such a hard time relating to them in general. But, with all that said, sometimes I get thrown for loops with the girls I befriend, because they're not like this at all.
88. I don't make friends easily though, period. I meet people easily, but friends are a whole nother matter. But the ones I get, are stuck with me.
89. I don't like pretty boys- I like guys who are just "hmm, this is clean", and "I forgot to shave. Oh well." That said, I don't like slobs either. It's that in-between "I've got much more important things on my mind then what kind of belt I'm wearing" kind of guy.
90. I enjoy the experience of being intimate more then the actual sexual act itself.
92. I get embarrassed surprisingly easy sometimes, and when I do, I turn into a flustery mess. It depends on the mood I'm in I suppose.
93. I get flushed like a wino after one glass of wine.
94. I constantly worry about my loved ones dying. I get really anxious for example when my grandparents go on roadtrips to California in January, or when my parents leave the country. I never used to be like this, but I worry about everything now.
95. My grandfather is my absolute favorite person in the whole world. We can sit next to each other for a whole day just reading and drinking beer, not saying a single word, and it will have been a great bonding experience. He's taught me so much about people and temperance, as well as a whole bevy of interesting knowlege and skills. Everything about my grandfather is amazing- his life, his experiences, everything- the people he's helped. No one hates him, no one would cross him, and no one would disrespect him. And he's got the biggest hands I've ever seen. I still hold my grandfather's hand when we walk, and I still just hold one finger, because I couldn't hold his whole hand when I was little and never changed. He could hold me in one hand until I was about nine months old. I have a lot of his sense of humor- this is where the corny bits come from.
96. My most favorite thing to shop for is underwear.
97. The thing that I least enjoy shopping for, which I have to do soon unfortunately, is bra shop. Goddamnit.
98. I know that if I were to get pregnant (though at this rate- it would be immaculate) at this point in time, that I would have a great support system. I also know that in my mind, I am probably ready to have a child now, but I'm also in no great hurry either. I will always advocate pro choice to anyone, but I have also realized that I myself would not be able to have an abortion. I couldn't handle it. This is just something I've realized over the years. But like I said, I'm not looking to have a baby at all until I'm ready financially and whatnot, if I have my say.
99. I would be more then comfortable being a single parent. If the time comes when I want to have kids, I don't think I'll be deterred from it if I don't have a partner. I may hit up my friends for sperm though- an indication that they are the best kind of people- that, and most of 'em aren't going to use it anyways. LOL.
100. I am very blessed, and I hope I don't forget that too often.
¶ 2:10 PM
Comments:
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So you don't respect me because I don't like putting in the effort? Is that what you're saying? LOL. And yeah, I know it's normal(83). And yeah, it is also comfy- but sexy! And no- the twins will not be liberated. Gross. My skin is too sensitive for that.
Easter says:
Your list is great stuff.
BUT YOU FORGOT A 91 HOHO.
ps liberate the twins anyways chafed nipples is a small price to pay.
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Your list is great stuff.
BUT YOU FORGOT A 91 HOHO.
ps liberate the twins anyways chafed nipples is a small price to pay.
# posted by 
: 10:01 PM
: 10:01 PM<< Home
