Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Dear Aunt Anathema,
I just felt like you should know a few things before you decide to run off and abandon the family, leaving a trail of wrongly villainized people in your wake, or before you decide to kill yourself or some such nonsense:
1. You are the problem. Notice how everyone is cohesive family unit and fine when you are not around? No, you wouldn't, because you aren't around except when you need to boost your confidence with the taint of self-imposed, wrongly asserted martyrdom. As why you are the problem- I'll tell you why:
A. You've been condescending and pretentious. Even when you are mad, you are pretentious with the intent to subdue/baffle us with bullshit. The biggest thing is your constantly patronizing attitude. I've come to realize that you are not even aware of the fact though, and that part of it is because you are a teacher, and more importantly- you seem to have an issue with power. Big words and accusations for such an initially silly woman, but it isn't unfounded. I bring up teacher in juxtaposition with patronization and power, in relation to your familial relationship because I get that you are very insecure in yourself and the only way you can exert any control in your life is to exert control over others- by extension this explains your selective hearing, selective knowlege, and complete obliviousness to the abilities and emotions of anyone around you.
2. We are all adults. If you were treated the way you treat others, you'd kill the person who treated you like that. Luckily, we have not been blessed with the irrational temper that you have, and luckily, we feel more sorry for you then anything. We aren't pushing you away, you are ejecting yourself, and quite effectively, I might add.
3. I'm not afraid or intimidated by you. I can see right through you, and all I see is a fifty-something woman acting like a bossy self-righteous, and self-centered twelve year old.
4. Your son is going to be a hellion, OR severely messed up. Stop censoring what he watches on TV, he's thirteen years old. All I see you "teaching" him is how to be completely apathetic to the world around him, rather then hypersensitive as you might wish. Similarly, stop grooming your son to be the perfect male and antithesis to all the men you hate, and all the men who have wronged you. Newsflash- YOU wronged them too. Every single man I have ever seen you with, you have treated like shit. Just so you know- if your son rebels, you will lose him.
5. What you just did- what you keep doing- at this precise moment, is the most horrible thing I could imagine anyone doing to their sister at a time like this. You, whom I have admired for your literary knowlege and skill, who knows the power of a single word, especially that particular weapon you chose to exercise yesterday. I almost came over and slapped you I was so angry. Step into reality and realize what the hell the consequences of your actions are. Do you want us to be around in the future or not? Do you even need this family? Because you're not acting like it. None of us have ever felt appreciated by you- we're not here for you to laugh and say, "how quaint" at. We're not here to discipline your son and show him what callouses are. We're not here to be your diorama of what middle class means while you pretend to be common and feast on oily free range chicken and butternut squash ("the gourd of the earth people"). We're not here for you to pity. All anyone in this family wanted was respect.
6. I hate the fact that I'm saying this: please get help. I do still love you, and so does everyone else. What it really comes down to is everyone being completely baffled by this "surprise- I fucking hate you dumbasses" behavior, and all the further irrational behavior that has come with it. None of us have done anything to warrant this treatment, and you don't seem to realize that grandma explicitly stated she did not want you bringing your New Age CRAP into her soon-to-be deathbed. Protestant! Anglo-Saxon! Borderline atheist! Rational scientific being!
7. Let go of your grudges and stop stockpiling them for the next nuclear war. Stop saving them for our deathbeds- because it'll just rush us along to heaven, or rotting in our cold damp boxes.
I know it's a lot to take in. Take a minute, and realize that you, the all perfect and all knowing being, have made several mistakes that key in rather majorly to the miserable mess you find yourself in right now.
(I told you it was fucking mean. Don't come down on me too hard, eh? She'll never see it. Although, if things escalate, the idea of some bluntword force trauma has been noodling around in my head. I don't view myself as having anything to lose, but at the same time, I do know that again, this is SO mean and judgemental it's probably not even funny anymore. Keep in mind that this was a vent- always better then actually shooting off my mouth in the heat of the moment.) ¶ 1:43 AM
1. You are the problem. Notice how everyone is cohesive family unit and fine when you are not around? No, you wouldn't, because you aren't around except when you need to boost your confidence with the taint of self-imposed, wrongly asserted martyrdom. As why you are the problem- I'll tell you why:
A. You've been condescending and pretentious. Even when you are mad, you are pretentious with the intent to subdue/baffle us with bullshit. The biggest thing is your constantly patronizing attitude. I've come to realize that you are not even aware of the fact though, and that part of it is because you are a teacher, and more importantly- you seem to have an issue with power. Big words and accusations for such an initially silly woman, but it isn't unfounded. I bring up teacher in juxtaposition with patronization and power, in relation to your familial relationship because I get that you are very insecure in yourself and the only way you can exert any control in your life is to exert control over others- by extension this explains your selective hearing, selective knowlege, and complete obliviousness to the abilities and emotions of anyone around you.
2. We are all adults. If you were treated the way you treat others, you'd kill the person who treated you like that. Luckily, we have not been blessed with the irrational temper that you have, and luckily, we feel more sorry for you then anything. We aren't pushing you away, you are ejecting yourself, and quite effectively, I might add.
3. I'm not afraid or intimidated by you. I can see right through you, and all I see is a fifty-something woman acting like a bossy self-righteous, and self-centered twelve year old.
4. Your son is going to be a hellion, OR severely messed up. Stop censoring what he watches on TV, he's thirteen years old. All I see you "teaching" him is how to be completely apathetic to the world around him, rather then hypersensitive as you might wish. Similarly, stop grooming your son to be the perfect male and antithesis to all the men you hate, and all the men who have wronged you. Newsflash- YOU wronged them too. Every single man I have ever seen you with, you have treated like shit. Just so you know- if your son rebels, you will lose him.
5. What you just did- what you keep doing- at this precise moment, is the most horrible thing I could imagine anyone doing to their sister at a time like this. You, whom I have admired for your literary knowlege and skill, who knows the power of a single word, especially that particular weapon you chose to exercise yesterday. I almost came over and slapped you I was so angry. Step into reality and realize what the hell the consequences of your actions are. Do you want us to be around in the future or not? Do you even need this family? Because you're not acting like it. None of us have ever felt appreciated by you- we're not here for you to laugh and say, "how quaint" at. We're not here to discipline your son and show him what callouses are. We're not here to be your diorama of what middle class means while you pretend to be common and feast on oily free range chicken and butternut squash ("the gourd of the earth people"). We're not here for you to pity. All anyone in this family wanted was respect.
6. I hate the fact that I'm saying this: please get help. I do still love you, and so does everyone else. What it really comes down to is everyone being completely baffled by this "surprise- I fucking hate you dumbasses" behavior, and all the further irrational behavior that has come with it. None of us have done anything to warrant this treatment, and you don't seem to realize that grandma explicitly stated she did not want you bringing your New Age CRAP into her soon-to-be deathbed. Protestant! Anglo-Saxon! Borderline atheist! Rational scientific being!
7. Let go of your grudges and stop stockpiling them for the next nuclear war. Stop saving them for our deathbeds- because it'll just rush us along to heaven, or rotting in our cold damp boxes.
I know it's a lot to take in. Take a minute, and realize that you, the all perfect and all knowing being, have made several mistakes that key in rather majorly to the miserable mess you find yourself in right now.
(I told you it was fucking mean. Don't come down on me too hard, eh? She'll never see it. Although, if things escalate, the idea of some bluntword force trauma has been noodling around in my head. I don't view myself as having anything to lose, but at the same time, I do know that again, this is SO mean and judgemental it's probably not even funny anymore. Keep in mind that this was a vent- always better then actually shooting off my mouth in the heat of the moment.) ¶ 1:43 AM
