This is me being a responsible adult. I've figured out an additional feeling of angst towards being Lin's maid of honour. It's so fucking grown up. I mean, do we all actually strive to be grown-ups? I view it as this thing we try and stave off (old age) via doing dumb things and being generally inappropriate, but to embrace it by saying, "why sure, I will be your maid of honor", you're just saying, "well, I suppose that this means that I'm old enough to do this, get married, have children, and earn my mini van" too. And I don't feel like that, even though I still have to do this. I stayed up until around five on friday night hashing together basic ideas for a speech, for a wedding that is in August. Because if I'm going to do this, damned if I won't do the best job I can at it. But man...no pressure. I don't know her fiancee that well, which sort of adds to making a little bit of a conundrum...I suppose that it isn't that important that I know him, but still....I don't even know what she sees in the guy, she's never articulated that to me.

The dress is out of the way, and honestly, I don't think it will be that bad. It's actually ...dare I say it...rather pretty. It's just the whole process of getting it that I could do without. In my mind, retail people should be trained to know what style is best for what body and whatnot, so if I go in there and say, "I have no fucking clue" they should be able to find me something that looks awesome for my dime. But they don't, you have to jump into this satin lined abyss of the unknown and come out miraculously with matching tops and skirts that don't clash by texture alone (such a thing is possible). I used to be good at this sort of thing, but not anymore.

Final tomorrow. Must go study Freud. Wooo...  ¶ 2:55 PM