Sunday, July 24, 2005
Will you be my Johnny Cash?
Lots has been up lately. Allow me to elaborate via a list because I'm lazy:
* I recently got into a lot of crap at work because I had a really awful rage-on last thursday against my crew. I essentially worked my ass off all day picking those damn thistles, and heard nothing about garbage about my entire crew all day, and later, got ripped on by another crew joining in with my crew about how "they" had finished clearing a spot of thistles that I walked into, when they clearly hadn't. I'd pulled about three armloads out of fully mature (ie-taller than me) russian thistles by the time they got to me and actually told me that, along with the information that they'd just been pulling off the leaves so the plants were no longer recognizable as thistles, or kicking them down and flattening them. And the rage burned silently. Finally, at the end of the day, I confided in a shrub crew member (evidently one that didn't have as much oomph as I'd hoped she would) that I would be interested in a change of crew next year to trees & shrubs instead of grass. By the time I got home that night, I was seriously in the most inconsolable rage ever. I was like shaking I was so angry with work, and from the effort of keeping it all in and not exploding on my crewmates. My foreman got a wind of the shrubby conversation the next morning however, and bawled me out in a "drive" in the foreman truck right at the beginning of the shift, and made me feel like a complete louse for the whole day. It completely didn't dawn on me that I was disrespecting him, until after he had to point it out, which is completely awful. And I also realized that once again, I'm taking this stupid job much more seriously then I should be. So the next day was fine, because I pulled out of it. It was even enjoyable.
I realized that I'm so afraid of getting into trouble, or forgetting how to work hard, or doing things that I completely know are so unethical (like the things my crewmates are very apt to do) that my working manners go into complete overdrive. I can't afford to lose this job. They can, and I can't, and I worry myself sick about it and turn into the biggest bitch ever as a result. I won't deny though that there may have also been some PMS at work either.
*I'm a big ball of stress. My financial situation has taken a startling divebomb in the last few weeks, and I'm rather paranoid about it, and upset that my parents might find out and hate my guts because the amount of money that I will be contributing to my life at this point is the lowest it's been in the last four years. It's downright pathetic, so I've been reading student loan stuff all evening and fretting. When it really comes down to it, I'll still have the option of a Student Line of credit, but of course I'll still worry myself sick about how my parents are going to take it when I tell them I have about eight hundred and seventy five bucks to my name with only four weeks or so of work left for the summer, when I should feasibly have something like four grand at least, like last year. I seriously don't know what happened, I'm usually so fucking frugal and something has gone horribly wrong with me this summer, because I've been pissing it away like crazy.
The good news is that if I get a student loan, I'm also eligible for a Northern Alberta Development student bursary, which ranges from $500-$1500. All you have to do is be over "the line" that segregates northern Alberta from Southern, and CL just made it. It's not much, but it would help.
*I had a date last Thursday with someone I will dub Johnny Cash, because he's originally a country boy from up north. It turns out that he went to Junior High with a very good friend of mine too, actually. Anyways, Johnny seems to be a really well-rounded guy, and his sense of humour is awesome. I really enjoyed myself, despite the fact (eat it up, it's terrible...) that he kicked my ass like seven times straight in pool. It was incredibly humiliating, but for once, I absolutely didn't care. Having someone that would play pool that long with me, and so devotedly (he loves it), even if I never see him again, was excellent. But I have to admit, though he's more quiet then any of my friends, I really kind of like him. Even if it just ends up being a friendship, he's a great guy. He needs more excitement in his life, and gad knows I'm a walking soap opera. It'd be great.
*However, after the aboveforementioned pool-vana, I got a little loaded at the Back Room Vodka Bar. It's an awesome place, and I finally met the Harem. Tres cool. Finally, intelligent, non-catty girls who have their wits about them. They were a riot to talk to.
*Tonight, my parents dragged me to the funniest thing ever. A 75th birthday bash for the mother of my dad's old high school buddy, over by Whyte. I learned the polka in two minutes, and spent the rest of the night doing these "Ukranian aerobics" with anyone who would dance with me. Usually my dad (for some inexplicable reason, we're both huge fans of the polka now--what the fuck?), but sometimes my mom or some of the kids. It was completely awesome. We knew (between the three of us) only four people there, max. The last time I saw those four people I was a) an infant, or b)about five years old. One of the kids wasn't even born the last time I saw them.
I have decided however, that we should find a polka bar. It's seriously seriously a fun time. It's goofy, it's dorky, but it's a hell of a workout, and you're always laughing. And honestly...you can't help but smile when you hear polka music. It's impossible.
This band by the way, was called "the Hammertones". I don't know if they have a website, but they ruled. Johnny Cash covers, Ukrainian music (polka), Russian music (like rock 'n roll, sung in Russian...awesome), Elvis, Captain Tractor, and of course, they capped the night off with "Spanish Eyes." So help me god, I thought I was going to cry when the octagenarians were slow dancing and murmuring into each other's ears. It was the sweetest thing ever.
Even more suprisingly (perhaps "nauseating" would be more apt) my parents danced quite a lot. Usually they do like one or two, but tonight they seemed to be infected with the sentimentality of days past. My dad's friend and his wife (then-girlfriend) were actually bridesmaid and groomsman at my parent's wedding too, so that might have been something to do with it. Ick.
*I had a lot of fun today shopping for apartment junk with Fenton. It's funny, because we always sort of bicker, but we always come to the same conclusion in the end for the most part. It helps that we're both on the same wavelength of practicality most of the time too, but I've never had as much fun arguing with anyone as I do with Fenton. It's like sport sometimes, LOL. ¶ 1:45 AM
* I recently got into a lot of crap at work because I had a really awful rage-on last thursday against my crew. I essentially worked my ass off all day picking those damn thistles, and heard nothing about garbage about my entire crew all day, and later, got ripped on by another crew joining in with my crew about how "they" had finished clearing a spot of thistles that I walked into, when they clearly hadn't. I'd pulled about three armloads out of fully mature (ie-taller than me) russian thistles by the time they got to me and actually told me that, along with the information that they'd just been pulling off the leaves so the plants were no longer recognizable as thistles, or kicking them down and flattening them. And the rage burned silently. Finally, at the end of the day, I confided in a shrub crew member (evidently one that didn't have as much oomph as I'd hoped she would) that I would be interested in a change of crew next year to trees & shrubs instead of grass. By the time I got home that night, I was seriously in the most inconsolable rage ever. I was like shaking I was so angry with work, and from the effort of keeping it all in and not exploding on my crewmates. My foreman got a wind of the shrubby conversation the next morning however, and bawled me out in a "drive" in the foreman truck right at the beginning of the shift, and made me feel like a complete louse for the whole day. It completely didn't dawn on me that I was disrespecting him, until after he had to point it out, which is completely awful. And I also realized that once again, I'm taking this stupid job much more seriously then I should be. So the next day was fine, because I pulled out of it. It was even enjoyable.
I realized that I'm so afraid of getting into trouble, or forgetting how to work hard, or doing things that I completely know are so unethical (like the things my crewmates are very apt to do) that my working manners go into complete overdrive. I can't afford to lose this job. They can, and I can't, and I worry myself sick about it and turn into the biggest bitch ever as a result. I won't deny though that there may have also been some PMS at work either.
*I'm a big ball of stress. My financial situation has taken a startling divebomb in the last few weeks, and I'm rather paranoid about it, and upset that my parents might find out and hate my guts because the amount of money that I will be contributing to my life at this point is the lowest it's been in the last four years. It's downright pathetic, so I've been reading student loan stuff all evening and fretting. When it really comes down to it, I'll still have the option of a Student Line of credit, but of course I'll still worry myself sick about how my parents are going to take it when I tell them I have about eight hundred and seventy five bucks to my name with only four weeks or so of work left for the summer, when I should feasibly have something like four grand at least, like last year. I seriously don't know what happened, I'm usually so fucking frugal and something has gone horribly wrong with me this summer, because I've been pissing it away like crazy.
The good news is that if I get a student loan, I'm also eligible for a Northern Alberta Development student bursary, which ranges from $500-$1500. All you have to do is be over "the line" that segregates northern Alberta from Southern, and CL just made it. It's not much, but it would help.
*I had a date last Thursday with someone I will dub Johnny Cash, because he's originally a country boy from up north. It turns out that he went to Junior High with a very good friend of mine too, actually. Anyways, Johnny seems to be a really well-rounded guy, and his sense of humour is awesome. I really enjoyed myself, despite the fact (eat it up, it's terrible...) that he kicked my ass like seven times straight in pool. It was incredibly humiliating, but for once, I absolutely didn't care. Having someone that would play pool that long with me, and so devotedly (he loves it), even if I never see him again, was excellent. But I have to admit, though he's more quiet then any of my friends, I really kind of like him. Even if it just ends up being a friendship, he's a great guy. He needs more excitement in his life, and gad knows I'm a walking soap opera. It'd be great.
*However, after the aboveforementioned pool-vana, I got a little loaded at the Back Room Vodka Bar. It's an awesome place, and I finally met the Harem. Tres cool. Finally, intelligent, non-catty girls who have their wits about them. They were a riot to talk to.
*Tonight, my parents dragged me to the funniest thing ever. A 75th birthday bash for the mother of my dad's old high school buddy, over by Whyte. I learned the polka in two minutes, and spent the rest of the night doing these "Ukranian aerobics" with anyone who would dance with me. Usually my dad (for some inexplicable reason, we're both huge fans of the polka now--what the fuck?), but sometimes my mom or some of the kids. It was completely awesome. We knew (between the three of us) only four people there, max. The last time I saw those four people I was a) an infant, or b)about five years old. One of the kids wasn't even born the last time I saw them.
I have decided however, that we should find a polka bar. It's seriously seriously a fun time. It's goofy, it's dorky, but it's a hell of a workout, and you're always laughing. And honestly...you can't help but smile when you hear polka music. It's impossible.
This band by the way, was called "the Hammertones". I don't know if they have a website, but they ruled. Johnny Cash covers, Ukrainian music (polka), Russian music (like rock 'n roll, sung in Russian...awesome), Elvis, Captain Tractor, and of course, they capped the night off with "Spanish Eyes." So help me god, I thought I was going to cry when the octagenarians were slow dancing and murmuring into each other's ears. It was the sweetest thing ever.
Even more suprisingly (perhaps "nauseating" would be more apt) my parents danced quite a lot. Usually they do like one or two, but tonight they seemed to be infected with the sentimentality of days past. My dad's friend and his wife (then-girlfriend) were actually bridesmaid and groomsman at my parent's wedding too, so that might have been something to do with it. Ick.
*I had a lot of fun today shopping for apartment junk with Fenton. It's funny, because we always sort of bicker, but we always come to the same conclusion in the end for the most part. It helps that we're both on the same wavelength of practicality most of the time too, but I've never had as much fun arguing with anyone as I do with Fenton. It's like sport sometimes, LOL. ¶ 1:45 AM
