I think I've recovered from the trauma.
There are a few things that I've learned about weddings and life in general this week.
1. No one necessarily wants to hear about them.
2. Being involved in a wedding party and all the complications that this entails that I definately did not enjoy very much, apparently makes me seem "girly".
3. I can be girly. It's what you do when you have these chromosomes.
4. I was looking after a friend of mine's child very briefly over the weekend, and brought him to an art gallery with me. Having a four year old hold just one finger of your hand, and listen to you intently explain and point out the neat parts of Alex Janvier's art without getting bored, caused a very strong reaction in me, probably the strongest yet of these "maternal" pulls that I figure are just going to get worse. It really affected me how much I really want to be a mum in that particular moment.
5. My wedding is not going to be like her wedding at all. And additionally, there is no "if I get married" anymore. I've realized that I've been "letting the fear take the wheel and steer" when it comes to the fate of my love life-- something that didn't come easy, and involved getting very drunk on the stoop of a church that someone may or may not have been getting married at the next day, and a very horrible phone call. To return to the original point-- mine will be small. It will be fun. I will do things to please me and my significant other, and not other people, except for maybe my mom, partially. It will be simple, but there will be lots of gifts, because...I'm just kidding.
6. My maid of honor, will not be single.
7. My significant other's groomsmen can get as drunk as they want to, because I have to say, her hubbies groomsmen were hilarious at the reception, and the wedding--for which they were both drunk. Five boys jumping onto each other's back for "bucking bronco" during "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy"? Come on.
8. People that you haven't seen since grade five, don't really change. Except now, we delight in getting sauced together and recanting how to sing Ren and Stimpy songs.
9. Photos for any occasion, should not last for three hours. Nor do you need three photographers.
10. Bouquets should not ever be made heavy enough that a bridesmaid's hand falls asleep entirely, and horrifyingly, in the middle of the wedding service--right before she is handed the bride's bouquet that is ten times bigger, for the other hand.
11. Apparently I have "a good radio voice. You should go into radio instead of teaching."
12. If I ever have a spouse who beats me up in the parking lot because I caught the bouquet at the reception...holy crap.
13. In a rural town, if you are over the age of twenty-one and not in a serious relationship or unmarrried, and have no children (illegit ones)--more often then not, people think there's something wrong with you, and tread lightly. It is so much easier to be "old" and single in the city. Take heed young hipsters.
Seriously, this wedding was like every single bad wedding movie you could possibly ever see. Every single clash of humanity, excluding full out murder and genocide, occurred at this wedding.
Additionally, in regards to going home to the hometown--as usual, I had this sort of optomistic and somewhat nostalgic gleam in my eye when I returned, but again quickly realized why I don't like coming back, and going into town. "Into town" means being painfully aware of the racism that has become second nature to most anyone I know anymore. Most of all, "the wedded one", just gets more and more embittered towards minorities, and embarrassingly enough, tells tales of her disgust (no owned experiences mind you) to anyone unlucky enough to be within earshot. It disgusts me to see attitudes like that, and the worst part is, she'll pass it onto her kids. The worst part of it is that she knows it bothers me that she thinks like that, knows it makes me uncomfortable to hear her talk such shit, and she still does it. I almost wonder if she does it on purpose, like she's trying to convince me that that she's right, when it just makes her look more terrible in my eyes.
Lastly...more of a bitching then anything-- I took all the scores of film that I had to the developers, and out of the five that I had...only two turned out. One roll from the Canon (the point and shoot), and another roll from the old Canon. The old Canon shots are the ones from dirt biking and such though. Both rolls of film that I bought from the dollar store didn't turn out at ALL. And the last roll of Fuji that I used at Matt Good and the ensuing times after, didn't turn out AT ALL. Nothing. I think it was because I was like "bahhh...fuck my light meter, this will still work." And of course, it didn't. If only I could get my flash to work. I also have my dad's old Nikon as of late, but I haven't fiddled around with it yet. Maybe tomorrow or the day after, I will walk Jasper, and attempt all the same old shots AGAIN. For the THIRD time. FUCK. Does anyone know if it is ok to interchange Canon lenses with Nikon lenses?
Oh... and I decided against the guinea pig. For now. Things may change, we'll see.