Sunday, October 16, 2005
Welcome to my jungle: a post long overdue
Ok, so some of you are in the know that I did my practicum last week. And what a joy that was. I haven't been feeling compelled to blog because we already have to do "professional reflection" on our days, and I've always had this thing about being tired and having to repeat myself. But I think it's about worn off now, so here goes, lol.
The school I went to was a junior high with about 300 or so kids in it, which was a nice size. It's also got a reputation as a bit of a tough school, which I totally didn't really find when I got there. I would have said my highschool was rougher than that school is. However, that said, I also realize there is a lot I haven't seen that goes on in said school either. Some of the stuff I did see was sort of disheartening at times though, I have to admit. A few of these teachers are seriously in the wrong place in their heads for teaching junior high kids. Grace Kelly nailed it on the head today when she said, "teachers aspiring to be highschool teachers, and not getting there yet". But I hardly think this should give much excuse to the two that I saw who were either namecalling with their students (I mean, nimrod is not a harsh term necessarily, but from a teacher in a school with kids who come from some pretty bad backgrounds...it bothered me a lot), or humiliating kids in front of class (the one I saw had a learning disability. Double your fun, double the trauma...like fuck. I noticed that a lot of them had just hit this complete level of professional stagnation in their careers, which was hella not encouraging at ALL. I vow right now, to not turn into those saggy breasted murky parasite breeding ponds.
My first day was hell. They are junior high kids, and some of them are the biggest brats you'll ever meet at first. It was just really overwhelming. Meet the teachers. Learn the rules. Make sure your mentor knows who you are. Don't break any rules. Look beautiful, etc. I had a substitute in the last class that I got rotated through also, which was hard on me too, because he expected me to be "mz disciplinary" right away, and kept shooting glares for not "stepping up" in situations. Seriously? Are you serious? These kids didn't even know who I was, let alone what I was doing there, and I was just supposed to be the disciplinary step-in? LOL. It was terrible, but surprisingly, the little that I did do, actually went well. I'm finding though, that I have to find my own way of doing things though, because the teachers sort of expect you to do it how they would do it, and .... some of those methods are completely ineffective, and some of them are just like....if you had someone say something like that to you right now-- you'd slap them. Why treat kids any different then how you'd want to be treated? Here's where the traditionalist would step in and say shit about respect and the necessary need for total authority and whatnot, but ....no, not really.
The rest of the week after that first day went swimmingly though. I got to know a lot of the kids surprisingly well, and I daresay, I might be the "cool" student teacher out of the bunch of us (I'm not going to go there).
I totally did get crucified on friday though, with the threat of the termination of my practicum...because the custodian and I were not seeing eye to eye on the whole "smoking" thing, and things were miscommunicated and witnessed, and it was ugly.
There is a teacher at my school, whom I don't have to deal with really, but she has this vendetta against me *conspiriatal tone*. She just shoots me with little lead bullets shooting out of her aqueous humor, EVERY time she sees me. S
The thing that is starting to bug me the most though, is that rather than just out and out teaching things like "smoking is bad, here's why, here's what they think you're going to do" , we have to pretend like it doesn't exist. I mean, I understand the logic of being a good role model- but it lessens the honesty level between a teacher and a student (I've been wondering, and I'm still thinking about this) if all of a sudden a teacher has to hide humanistic traits (ie- addiction). I don't know.
Meanwhile, I almost fuck over my whole practicum because I'm not allowed to smoke on the sidwalk outside the school fence. "Go further away."
Ugh, this is a lame post. More later maybe. ¶ 1:40 AM
The school I went to was a junior high with about 300 or so kids in it, which was a nice size. It's also got a reputation as a bit of a tough school, which I totally didn't really find when I got there. I would have said my highschool was rougher than that school is. However, that said, I also realize there is a lot I haven't seen that goes on in said school either. Some of the stuff I did see was sort of disheartening at times though, I have to admit. A few of these teachers are seriously in the wrong place in their heads for teaching junior high kids. Grace Kelly nailed it on the head today when she said, "teachers aspiring to be highschool teachers, and not getting there yet". But I hardly think this should give much excuse to the two that I saw who were either namecalling with their students (I mean, nimrod is not a harsh term necessarily, but from a teacher in a school with kids who come from some pretty bad backgrounds...it bothered me a lot), or humiliating kids in front of class (the one I saw had a learning disability. Double your fun, double the trauma...like fuck. I noticed that a lot of them had just hit this complete level of professional stagnation in their careers, which was hella not encouraging at ALL. I vow right now, to not turn into those saggy breasted murky parasite breeding ponds.
My first day was hell. They are junior high kids, and some of them are the biggest brats you'll ever meet at first. It was just really overwhelming. Meet the teachers. Learn the rules. Make sure your mentor knows who you are. Don't break any rules. Look beautiful, etc. I had a substitute in the last class that I got rotated through also, which was hard on me too, because he expected me to be "mz disciplinary" right away, and kept shooting glares for not "stepping up" in situations. Seriously? Are you serious? These kids didn't even know who I was, let alone what I was doing there, and I was just supposed to be the disciplinary step-in? LOL. It was terrible, but surprisingly, the little that I did do, actually went well. I'm finding though, that I have to find my own way of doing things though, because the teachers sort of expect you to do it how they would do it, and .... some of those methods are completely ineffective, and some of them are just like....if you had someone say something like that to you right now-- you'd slap them. Why treat kids any different then how you'd want to be treated? Here's where the traditionalist would step in and say shit about respect and the necessary need for total authority and whatnot, but ....no, not really.
The rest of the week after that first day went swimmingly though. I got to know a lot of the kids surprisingly well, and I daresay, I might be the "cool" student teacher out of the bunch of us (I'm not going to go there).
I totally did get crucified on friday though, with the threat of the termination of my practicum...because the custodian and I were not seeing eye to eye on the whole "smoking" thing, and things were miscommunicated and witnessed, and it was ugly.
There is a teacher at my school, whom I don't have to deal with really, but she has this vendetta against me *conspiriatal tone*. She just shoots me with little lead bullets shooting out of her aqueous humor, EVERY time she sees me. S
The thing that is starting to bug me the most though, is that rather than just out and out teaching things like "smoking is bad, here's why, here's what they think you're going to do" , we have to pretend like it doesn't exist. I mean, I understand the logic of being a good role model- but it lessens the honesty level between a teacher and a student (I've been wondering, and I'm still thinking about this) if all of a sudden a teacher has to hide humanistic traits (ie- addiction). I don't know.
Meanwhile, I almost fuck over my whole practicum because I'm not allowed to smoke on the sidwalk outside the school fence. "Go further away."
Ugh, this is a lame post. More later maybe. ¶ 1:40 AM
