Emergency!
Thursday, December 29, 2005
  Just a little slice of Home Town.
Why Lord, why?

Everytime I come home, and I walk into my actual hometown, I want to do one of three things: Drink like there's no tomorrow, start a fight, or get fucked in an inappropriate place.

One down, two to go. I'll leave the rest of that to your imagination (well, everyone's imagination except for Napoleon's I suppose, because he knows the truth).

I hate how hometown apathy is so contagious, although it's hard for it not to be, because something melodramatic is happening at every turn, and one gets desensitized to it all after about eighteen years of it.

The latest? Apparently, by drinking the tapwater of said town, you will most definately become pregnant, or impregnate some girl who is bound to be at least seven to ten years your junior. It's trendy here in trendsville! Not only that, but it is the coolest thing ever to listen to Nickelback, be on unemployment at 21, or, have a crown made from a popcorn bag that your drunken boyfriend made you while you "watched" Narnia. That event in itself, will be talked about for weeks, I'm sure.

I hate my town. I hate it here. I want to go home. Or drink my face off-- One of the two

One of my highschool buddies (read: the conquest that ne'er was) now wants to sleep with me. Correction, have wild relationship destroying sex with me in the back of a Fiero on ...I dunno, "Makeout Point" or something.

I'm having a problem here, only in the department of convincing him that "hey, you are so not hot shit anymore-- I mean, look at you! Look at me! It just won't work."

I'm such an ass, but the overwhelming power of monogamy compells me so. Not to mention, the guy is a total rat bastard in search of an "easy" way out of the stalk-ish relationship/hold his girlfriend now has on him. I mean, it bears mentioning, but it doesn't, because I would never cheat on anyone, especially not Napoleon.

It's interesting though, because it's just been an extra brick on the wall of my not-so-easily-freed-from depression. Oh, just sock it to me baby, I can take it! Man, if I have a few more Smirnoff Ice (tennis court beverage!) I can take on the world.

I need to be brought back to reality. This would dictate me being on the edge of a precipice or something. Which one? I don't know.
 
Comments:
simon you beat me to it.

genius.

i love my home town. mostly because it only has 325 people, most of them i know and most of them leave me alone when i am there.

it is an escape from the big city.

and i have a 45 foot sausage there.
 
indeed my friend
i am
 
wow....Durp. I totally was not thinking about the no-back-seat. Thankyou for the correction. LOL
I think I somehow got squished into the trunk of a Fiero once though....hm. Not sex-related.
 
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