Huh? Imagine that you're me, and you wrote a poem about shaving girl-parts earlier this week to make yourself laugh. Imagine then, if out of a lack of any other material suited for a poetry reading, that you actually ended up reading said poem. Imagine if you actually won something for reading it. Imagine how your parents would react...that confusing mix of pride and revulsion at such when they find out their daughter wrote a poem, and read it aloud, about shaved pussy or the threat thereof.

I can't believe it! I sincerely hope the din drowned out my "what the fuck?!" as I promptly forgot where I was, and what my home address was. I am thrilled to death, but it was shocking. I have never won anything with my writing before. Along with that, there were so many good readers there. When I had to vote, it was really difficult, because they were all so good tonight. Allison reread a poem she'd read last fall, that I loved then, and still love. I was so glad to get to hear it again, and additionally glad that I got to hear Mike again, and that Tess actually read a piece (of the bittersweet soulsucker that is Ikea). And Bootylicious? A classic forever. More men should think like that.

I'm still kind of speechless/dumbfounded/giddy/grinning stupidly/full up. It was an amazing and terrifying feeling. I think I just upped the bar for myself, which is good...I need something great to aspire to, even if it is the self destruction of writing good poetry. At the same time though, I felt bad too, because I kept wondering if it was only the impetus of a prize that made me write well. I don't think it was, because I was intimidated and rather pessimistic with my outlook towards a "prize", but still.

If anyone Raving Poets related reads this...thankyou. You totally made my *span of time before the feeling of bliss and instant cockiness wears off*.  ¶ 1:45 AM