we shared a moment

Suffice to say, I am in love with John. Yep, I've said it. I didn't know you could have so much fun with one person, not being away from them for more than two hours in the course of seven days. And it still didn't seem like we had enough time together. I am sad today because he will be in Anchorage two hours from now, but at the same time, I am incredibly calm because it's just the beginning. It's cool too because now we have this experience and the memories it created. It was like 168 hours of a first date, which is hilarious because we've been at "I love you Gary"[1] for seven months.

So here's where I'm at right now. We got to the airport expecting to have 2 hours of a leisurely non-stressful goodbye, and went to get his boarding pass. It turns out that if you are American, you have to go straight into security after you get your boarding pass. Enter: Me tearing up way prematurely and not keeping my cool like I promised I would. We said our somewhat rushed goodbyes (although private, thanks to the nice people at the Alaska Airlines desk), and I walked off in a daze and decided to fill a small portion of my new void with Harveys. At Harveys (yes there is a reason I'm talking about a fast-food restaurant), in my bereft state, I saw something on the ground next to one of the pillars in the eating area and me, being the type of person who picks up strange things on the ground, bent down and picked it up. A brand new blue headband (like, a winter one) emblazoned with "Alaskan Iditarod." Yeah, I didn't used to believe in signs. Yeah, I also know that the Iditarod was last week, so it's not unlikely that someone came through to go see the teams cross the line...but still! I will take my "sign", and I will put it on my backpack, because my boyfriend's dad was actually there last week and saw the teams cross the lines (and took cool pictures). It was just a weird but strangely uplifting thing to happen at that precise moment I think.

Right now, I am at the point where I'm attending to all the cleaning that I neglected throughout the week, but running into some tears when I find things he's forgotten. A hair elastic, a pack of Marlboros, American change, and his smell. It's sick, this love thing, I tell you, but it's bittersweet, because I know that this boy is a keeper. I haven't laughed like that, been touched like that, looked at like that, cried like that, ever, over anyone in my life. But I'm looking forward to the rest, I tell you whut.

So, I guess the only thing perplexing me now really, is that I feel bad for blogging this, because most of my friends are single (Fear Not!) and have probably wrinkled up their noses in disgust multiple times by now, but I figure that rather then, I dunno, talking about it constantly and non-stop, that this might be the better approach. You know...giving you the option to stop reading it at anytime.

In other news, Beatrix the Sea Rabbit, attempted to end his/her life yesterday, exiting the small bowl, and doing a flip off the HP Photo scanner onto the keyboard at John's fingers. It was quite dramatic, and my dad was on the phone going, "what? Who is this Beatrix person? Are they ok?"

Also, as terrible as it sounds, I miss the store. I am excited to go back to work tomorrow. I also have applied for a city job as an activity coordinator/tour guide/interpreter with the city of Edmontonia, so wish me luck on that. I'm thinking about getting on as an assistant caregiver in a group home also, because the more I think about it, the less I want to work a la the city of SA again, no matter how good the pay is. My dad will be upset because it was a "guaranteed", but I'm tired of working there, and I want to have a job a little more relevant to my actual degree.

More things to think about in my life:
*Moving
*Going to Alaska in August
*Going to BC in May (I'm getting paid to do a 30 ft. x 6 ft mural on the fence of a friend to my brother)
*A spring AND summer session. Fuck. (both of the courses I needed were at the same time- those smarmy U of A bastards)
*Where will I really live in the future?

Where I will live in the future is still a conundrum in my mind, unfortunately. I have an inkling that I will catch the "disease of Alaska" as a friend in my Ling class put it (she loves it there), after going there in August, but at the same time...I have never ever had to think about NOT living in Canada before, although it's the same for John, I'm sure. It's something that only time will tell ( a long long while from now), but it's admittedly tough to mull through. I've realized that I love being near my family and friends, and that I'm not good at being away from them, because I'm really bad at correspondence.

[1] When "dearie" is mistaken for the name of another man, madness and a good running joke ensues. And yes, it's corny as it was meant to be, to call someone "dearie."  ¶ 9:09 PM