Sunday, June 04, 2006
Oh mylanta...
I am so incredibly numb right now- on the verge of not caring about anything. But yet there is something to be said about being on the verge, because I still do care, and that's what I can't get over, lol.
Stalker boy, followed me out of the elevator with more incredibly invasive questions onto my floor yesterday, and pretty much almost to my door.
Counteractions to stalker-boy are still in progress, because I'm still freaked out about it. I do however, after one day at work, have a harem of "pseudo-boyfriends". Basically, whomever I'm closest to out of the harem when I run into him again, will be the "chosen one." Maybe it will be touching and we'll kiss. Ha ha.
I'm starting to get seriously disturbed about it though, because I'm wondering if it's stupid to overreact if I am overreacting, or if it's even stupider to just shrug it off. I have had a few startling moments where I've had incredibly morbid thoughts like, "it's people like you that get murdered." But perhaps I think too highly of myself.
One other counteraction is that I am seriously going to go get a personal alarm. I will be like a heavily alarmed car, but hotter and more prone to going off from a gust of wind (yes, I'm that freaked out right now- and I despise that. I still am incredibly upset with myself for all this cowardice that seems to be showing up in my character, no matter how much I resolve to be not afraid of people especially).
In other news.... there is no news. Secrets maybe, but no news. I got to see the Cat lady today, by surprise, which was incredibly nice. And, Mr. Pazzo was alarmingly nice to me again, and provided us with drink on the mosquito-infested patio, even though he was closed. Mr. Pazzo is a mysterious enigma, but we have this odd respect/understanding of each other that I like. I will however be paying him back, because there are too many mooches that take advantage of him.
Evelyn showed up today also....she's out of the hospital, which is a relief, and she seems pretty peppy, although I can't help but think she's five times more nervous than she was before. If you ever hear people say, "it's my nerves dear...they're terrible" and scoff (because usually I scoff), Evelyn is the only person you will ever meet that will say that, and you won't scoff. Because she's incredibly anxious, all the time. I don't know how she gets that way at all....it's like her generation though, that hasn't been taught how to relax. No cult of lazy-shit-work-ethic generation there, I guess. That's just us.
Speaking of which...I finished reading JPod. MINDFUCKING. That's all I have to say about that. ¶ 11:14 PM
Stalker boy, followed me out of the elevator with more incredibly invasive questions onto my floor yesterday, and pretty much almost to my door.
Counteractions to stalker-boy are still in progress, because I'm still freaked out about it. I do however, after one day at work, have a harem of "pseudo-boyfriends". Basically, whomever I'm closest to out of the harem when I run into him again, will be the "chosen one." Maybe it will be touching and we'll kiss. Ha ha.
I'm starting to get seriously disturbed about it though, because I'm wondering if it's stupid to overreact if I am overreacting, or if it's even stupider to just shrug it off. I have had a few startling moments where I've had incredibly morbid thoughts like, "it's people like you that get murdered." But perhaps I think too highly of myself.
One other counteraction is that I am seriously going to go get a personal alarm. I will be like a heavily alarmed car, but hotter and more prone to going off from a gust of wind (yes, I'm that freaked out right now- and I despise that. I still am incredibly upset with myself for all this cowardice that seems to be showing up in my character, no matter how much I resolve to be not afraid of people especially).
In other news.... there is no news. Secrets maybe, but no news. I got to see the Cat lady today, by surprise, which was incredibly nice. And, Mr. Pazzo was alarmingly nice to me again, and provided us with drink on the mosquito-infested patio, even though he was closed. Mr. Pazzo is a mysterious enigma, but we have this odd respect/understanding of each other that I like. I will however be paying him back, because there are too many mooches that take advantage of him.
Evelyn showed up today also....she's out of the hospital, which is a relief, and she seems pretty peppy, although I can't help but think she's five times more nervous than she was before. If you ever hear people say, "it's my nerves dear...they're terrible" and scoff (because usually I scoff), Evelyn is the only person you will ever meet that will say that, and you won't scoff. Because she's incredibly anxious, all the time. I don't know how she gets that way at all....it's like her generation though, that hasn't been taught how to relax. No cult of lazy-shit-work-ethic generation there, I guess. That's just us.
Speaking of which...I finished reading JPod. MINDFUCKING. That's all I have to say about that. ¶ 11:14 PM
